Object Lessons- Romance, Violation, and Adolescent Sexual Desire By: Deborah Tolman

The reading by Deborah Tolman, entitled Object Lessons -Romance, Violation, and Adolescent Sexual Desire was my favorite piece of literature thus far. I think that it is extremely important to talk to young girls about their feelings as young adolescents, and the needs, questions or concerns they might have with regard to their sexuality. Contrary to the belief that young women must remain tight-liped about their desires and human anatomy, I believe that it is important for people to be educated about sex so that they can make an informed, conscious decision about their sex lives rather than to rely on the word of their peers, myths, magazines or other forms of media to get the correct information in regards to sex . Likewise in addition to being educated about our own sexuality (our human anatomy, sexual desires, raging hormones and sexual norms- what is considered "normal" anyways). We should also informed about the human anatomy, sexual needs, desires, raging hormones and sexual norms of the opposite sex. I agree with Tolman when she explains that by speaking to boys and girls about girls' entitlement to their sexual desire, we demand a rewrite of the romance narrative in which girls will be sexual subjects rather than sexual objects."

Growing up, sex was never really talked about in my family. It was known that girls should wait until marriage to engage in intercourse with their husbands. Instead of forcing the idea of abstinence on today's youth. We should teach them the importance of accepting ones sexuality and that sexual desire is a normal part of human nature and that it is normal. Being raised in a prodominatley portuguese culture i was never lectured on the "birds and the bees" and the importance of our bodies and how they are supposed to be used. We were always told to be "good girls". Whenever, I was curoous about this topic i would often talk to friends but even then their were always those teenage myths about the fact that boys have sexual desires that girls are not supposed to give into. In the words of Rachel from Glee, "girls think about sex just as much as men do".

In addition, to being educated about our bodies I think its important for girls to learn that it is okay to say "No" and really mean it. We are often taught that sex is bad, and is merely for a man's pleasure. That is simply not true and can often be damaging to the adolescent perception of sexuality. Its no wonder that more and more individuals are finding it difficult to let loose and to truly be intimate with their partners. I agree with Sammantha, my classmate in saying that we need to explain to adolescents that they can be loved for their inner beauty as well as their outer. They need to be informed on how it is natural and that they need to love themselves before anyone else can love them back.

Miller-Teens and the Social Media

Miller's literature regarding New Media, Networking and Phatic Culture was both interesting and hard to understand. In this text Miller discusses how the internet and its various purposes has changed. The author explains how the internet and its numerous functions have expanded and changed over the years, more noteably in the years of 2004-2006 to preesent. Miller discusses how the internet has become a way to sustain relationships as well as an avenue to form and build friendships and relationships alike.

Through the years, I have become an avid internet user using it to check my e-mail and stay in touch with family and friends via my facebook page. However, I still consider myself to be a digital immigrant in some ways, as I do not twitter, neither did i regularly maintain a blog (up until this class that is). Although i know we live in a society that is constantly changing to cater to the technological advances of our world, i was suprised to learn that 93% of teens ages 12-17 are online. I thought that number would be much lower. Then again, the demand to keep up with our countries technological advances are huge and are increasingly important in present day.

When reading the text further, Miller speaks about blogging. In the literature Miller talks about how blogging is a "process in which communities and personal relationships, social forms and commitments are less bound by history and, under globalization, space, are free to, and perhaps forced to actively contruct their own biographies and social bond"(Miller 388). Though i agree that technology and its various purpoes are important especially if we want to compete with other nations in regards to employment and other impoant facets of life, I do find our obsession with Media and technology to be a little disconcerning. I think that the Media (Internet, texting blogging etc. has made it easier for us to become more impersonal and has diminished our ability to build strong interponsal relationships with people that we have contact with on a day to day basis. It is also worrisome because individuals have allowed the internet to become such a vital part of their lives that they may become more vulnerable to personal invasion of privacy. Let's face it some individuals post comments incessantly about their day (especially on sites like myspace and facebook) saying things like " about to take a shower". Why is it so pertinent to know for people to know about ones personal hygiene? Yet, i was still more suprised (rather in shock), when reading that "most teens restrict access to their posted photos on the internet at least most of time. While adults restrict access to the same content less often" (Miller, 4).That is something i truly can't wrap my mind around and probably will never understand. How can parents expect their children to be more vigilient of their use on the net when they don't hold themselves accountable to the same criteria?

Furthermore, I believe that Miller would agree with McMillian and Morrison in stating that the internet and/or has made it easier or allowed us to stay in contact with family and friends (or with people whom we wouldn't have much contact with otherwise. However, i do feel that we all need to be more vigilient of the things we decide to post, tweet or share with other as well as the people we decide to let in to our inner circle especially with the recent occurances of cyberbullying and stalking among teens and adults.

This is a funny video i found about facebook, called Man in the Box it illustrates how social networking can impact our lives. explicit language is used. Please be advised.