Thursday, April 29, 2010

Object Lessons- Romance, Violation, and Adolescent Sexual Desire By: Deborah Tolman

The reading by Deborah Tolman, entitled Object Lessons -Romance, Violation, and Adolescent Sexual Desire was my favorite piece of literature thus far. I think that it is extremely important to talk to young girls about their feelings as young adolescents, and the needs, questions or concerns they might have with regard to their sexuality. Contrary to the belief that young women must remain tight-liped about their desires and human anatomy, I believe that it is important for people to be educated about sex so that they can make an informed, conscious decision about their sex lives rather than to rely on the word of their peers, myths, magazines or other forms of media to get the correct information in regards to sex . Likewise in addition to being educated about our own sexuality (our human anatomy, sexual desires, raging hormones and sexual norms- what is considered "normal" anyways). We should also informed about the human anatomy, sexual needs, desires, raging hormones and sexual norms of the opposite sex. I agree with Tolman when she explains that by speaking to boys and girls about girls' entitlement to their sexual desire, we demand a rewrite of the romance narrative in which girls will be sexual subjects rather than sexual objects."

Growing up, sex was never really talked about in my family. It was known that girls should wait until marriage to engage in intercourse with their husbands. Instead of forcing the idea of abstinence on today's youth. We should teach them the importance of accepting ones sexuality and that sexual desire is a normal part of human nature and that it is normal. Being raised in a prodominatley portuguese culture i was never lectured on the "birds and the bees" and the importance of our bodies and how they are supposed to be used. We were always told to be "good girls". Whenever, I was curoous about this topic i would often talk to friends but even then their were always those teenage myths about the fact that boys have sexual desires that girls are not supposed to give into. In the words of Rachel from Glee, "girls think about sex just as much as men do".

In addition, to being educated about our bodies I think its important for girls to learn that it is okay to say "No" and really mean it. We are often taught that sex is bad, and is merely for a man's pleasure. That is simply not true and can often be damaging to the adolescent perception of sexuality. Its no wonder that more and more individuals are finding it difficult to let loose and to truly be intimate with their partners. I agree with Sammantha, my classmate in saying that we need to explain to adolescents that they can be loved for their inner beauty as well as their outer. They need to be informed on how it is natural and that they need to love themselves before anyone else can love them back.